Category: Daily challenges

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It’s Just Me.

my4grandandcrazykids

People are on medication for many different reasons, often it is to prolong life or relieve some type of distress. I suffer from distress. Many would be happy to have my life and there is actually nothing wrong with it. It’s Just Me. I am not happy with how I look. I am not happy with how I have been as a parent. I am not happy with how many marriages I had to go through to get to this point. I am not happy in many things because I compare myself to others. See it’s just me. I get frustrated … Continue reading It’s Just Me.

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Non Halloween Costumes

my4grandandcrazykids

This subject makes me think of a recent TED Talk I watched. A young lady in her late teens starts talking about dressing for success and leads into a vivid description of playing dress up as a child. We have no doubts as children that by changing our clothes we are changing our lives. As a young girl we go from being a princess to a superhero. The same with our boys one minute they are cowboys the next they are fighting in an imaginary war. The clothes made them what thy wanted to be. I thought that was very … Continue reading Non Halloween Costumes

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Just me

my4grandandcrazykids

Oh how I long to be the person everyone likes. I long to be able to speak freely and just be me. I long to live a happy life full of grace and peace. Hugs and happily ever after would mean the world to me.     My world does not revolve this way my brain is filled with thought. I try to calm the waves that come to crash around my mind, only to be overwhelmed and feel as if I am drowning. Is it being a perfectionist that hinders my joy? I pick apart what is good to find what could … Continue reading Just me

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Risk Taker?

my4grandandcrazykids

The kind of blog I am interested in starting is risky because I am putting myself out there for all of you as readers to see. I put on a brave face in front of my peers or family so no one sees the terror I fear inside. There is a group that I once began going to called Celebrate Recovery. Oh my gosh is that place real?! From what I gathered it is very much like AA but instead of calling it your higher power (or however they describe it) at Celebrate Recovery we call it God. It is … Continue reading Risk Taker?

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Loyal

my4grandandcrazykids

I have always tried to be a loyal friend but I guess some would argue that. What constitutes a Loyal friend? Someone who sticks with you through thick and thin? Someone who doesn’t criticize you or your choices? I have always been very what do you call it when you avoid confrontation? I’m loyal to a fault and get taken advantage of because of it. I don’t do conflict or confrontation well. I had a husband who mistook my loyalty for naivety. He thought I wouldn’t notice his longer than normal hours at work. He thought he could have a … Continue reading Loyal

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Succumb??

my4grandandcrazykids

There is a poem that states something about one day we will slip the surly bonds of earth. I know it will happen one day we will succumb to the death of this life, but I look forward to the Heaven I picture. My aching and tormented body and soul will be pain free, I will no longer battle depression and anxiety. I will be  surrounded by my loved ones in a beautiful mansion made for me. I will gladly succumb to God’s will at that point. So why is it so hard to do so here on Earth. I … Continue reading Succumb??

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Cloaked

my4grandandcrazykids

This word makes me think of Star Trek and the cloaking device. LOL In reality I joke because I tend to cloak my pain. For years I hid behind a smile and a laugh when I was nervous or uncomfortable. I smile when my heart is heavy and I am trying to be strong. One example I have of this is when my estranged husband had passed away. His current girlfriend had no idea that he even had a heart condition. I had my children get his computer so I could print pictures of him with our children. I found … Continue reading Cloaked